Friday, July 06, 2012

God particle found

This is so cool. The Higgs-Boson particle has been discovered.
In physics terms, evidence for a new particle requires a “3-sigma” measurement, corresponding to a 1-in-740 chance that a random fluke could explain the observations, and a claim of discovery requires a 5-sigma effect, or a 1-in–3.5 million shot that the observations are due to chance. In December representatives of the two experiments had announced what one called “intriguing, tantalizing hints” of something brewing in the collider data. But those hints fell short of the 3-sigma level. The new ATLAS finding met not just that level of significance but cleared the gold standard 5-sigma threshold, and CMS very nearly did as well, with a 4.9-sigma finding.
So let the jokes begin:

-- The Higgs-Boson particle was recently found herding two of each kind of subatomic particle into a subatomic boat of some kind.

-- The scientists who discovered the Higgs-Boson particle announced today that its first commandment was "Thou shalt not misuse the name of the Higgs-Boson particle in the science/religion conflict."

-- Scientists have successfully detected a Higgs-Boson particle but were unable to determine if there were any others. There is one Higgs-Boson particle and the Large Hadron Collider is its prophet.

-- It has been determined that the Higgs-Boson particle used to be a lowly electron, but it died and was resurrected.

Yeah I know, they suck. Supply your own in the comments.

Discuss this post at the Quodlibeta Forum


John Kurman said...

A W, Z, and Higgs boson go into a bar...

okay nothing there, except maybe they make the Goldstone boson disappear, thus giving mass to W and Z. No? Okay. Well, Fermi would have found a joke in there.

Why do priests like the Higgs?

Something to do with mass.

Jim S. said...

That's better than mine. I was trying to think something up with the six flavors of quark and the Trinity but it didn't come together.

Anonymous said...

I saw a boat called the Higgs, with a petty officer on board. I said, 'Wow! I've found the Higgs' Bo'sun.'

Jim S. said...

A quark, a lepton, and a Higgs-boson walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says, "What is this, a joke?"

Jonny said...

A gorgeous Higgs Boson in a slinky dress sits down at the bar for Happy Hour. "I'll have the usual Louie", she says...

"One Schroedinger's Cat, coming up", Louie says

And the Higgs Boson looks at him and says, "Yeah, you said that the last time too."